01 · Event grammar
Object–action naming, property rationing, and the ban on catch-all “misc” fields. You draft ten production events in English before a single SDK line is praised.
Product Telemetry Studio
An eight-week room for product, data, and a nominated engineer. You leave with a versioned event dictionary, a capture plan, and a list of known holes you are willing to say out loud.
Who it is for
Teams who already ship, and are tired of arguing with last quarter’s events.
The Studio assumes a live iOS or Android app, or a well-used web-app with a mobile wrapper. It is a poor fit for companies still choosing a vendor, and a strong fit for companies who chose one two years ago and now cannot trust a weekly number.
Fees on this page are informational. Places are confirmed by the desk after a short written enquiry — there is no payment flow on this site.
£1,860 per seated trio
One product owner, one analyst or data scientist, and one engineer. Additional observers by arrangement. Next open cohort listed in the enquiry reply, not as a countdown here.
Weeks
Modules
02 · Capture architecture
What belongs on the client, what must be minted server-side, and how to stop a screen view from impersonating a business event. Includes a short pass on sessionisation.
03 · Identity without theatre
Anonymous to known joins, logout behaviour, and the cost of getting this wrong for lifetime value. We do not teach a fantasy of perfect people-matching.
04 · Funnel integrity
Ordered steps, exclusion rules, and monitors that fire when a step’s volume falls off a cliff after a release. Critique is done on your funnel, not a toy.
05 · Retention and return windows
Defining “active” as a product decision. Captioning a curve. Distinguishing a calendar artefact from a habit change.
06 · Governance
Owners, deprecation, and the Vectorcore-style dictionary your team will keep after we leave. The last week is a live review, not a certificate ceremony.
You should be able to
Outcomes
- Write an event spec a designer and an engineer can both sign.
- Explain why a property is forbidden, not merely unused.
- Point to a monitor that would have caught last quarter’s silent drop.
- Separate session metrics from user metrics without mixing the two in a slide.
- Publish three known limitations alongside any “north star” chart.
- Hand the dictionary to a new teammate in under half an hour.
Dr Priya Venables
Priya led measurement for a London consumer-finance app through two redesigns and one painful identity migration. She tutors the Studio and still marks event specs with a red pencil. She will not pretend Mixpanel, Amplitude, or a warehouse-native stack is morally superior; she will ask whether your names will still make sense in eighteen months.
From seated teams
Notes on this programme
Module 04 on funnel integrity was the week our onboarding number finally stopped being a rumour. We still disagree with Priya about screen-view events; we kept two of them against her advice.
The dictionary template from week six is on our wiki. The capture architecture week assumed more backend time than we had booked; we slipped a sprint and finished the server events afterwards.
★★★★★
Quiet room, sharp notes, no vendor pitch. The identity module named a logout bug we had lived with since 2023.
Questions we actually get
FAQ
One person in the trio should be able to select from a table. The product owner does not. If nobody can query, say so in the enquiry; we will tell you honestly whether to wait or to bring a contractor.
None. Bring the stack you already pay for. The grammar is the point. We have seated Amplitude, Mixpanel, PostHog, and warehouse-only teams in the same cohort without turning the room into a comparison chart.
Paid user-acquisition platforms sit outside the syllabus. We will not configure Meta, Google Ads, or Apple Search Ads, and we will not teach you to force a last-click story onto SKAN ranges. Attribution After the Cookie is a separate clinic for that work. The Studio also does not include a production implementation done by our tutors — you instrument; we critique.
No. Fees are listed so you can budget. A place is confirmed in writing after we understand your app, your trio, and the cohort calendar. See the refund page for what happens if a seat is later declined.
Next cohort
Write to the desk
Tell us the app, who would sit, and what number you no longer trust. We reply within two working days.